Turmoil

Could I be another calamity in your tempestuous life?
Or the gale blowing opposite the winds of grief, that which will cancel them all out?

Could I have been a complete waste of your precious time,
Or have offered you escape in such dire circumstances?

Could I have entered your life at the wrong time?
Or could you need me now, more than ever, as much as I need you?

Could I have been a hindrance from all that you undertook,
Or have been a source of inspiration to you, very much like how you have always been my muse?

Propinquity

Big word. :))) Maybe I have problems gauging just how close I am to other people. And it's such a wonder that proximity between people is an intransitive relation. One can be close to a person, yet not to that person's other close friends. And how does one know if he/she is close enough to another? I thought that if I kept pouring out my soul unto you, we'd get closer, but meseems I'm the only one taking a spill.

I'm sorry

As I write now with a heavy heart I hope
That I could bear the brunt of it all for you
And never make you shed tears not of joy,
For mine are at the thought that yours were.

I'm sorry that I may have been insensitive.
I'm sorry that the sad thoughts keep taking over.
I'm sorry that all I am is sorrow.
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I'm sorry that I could scream the words to hundreds, yet not make you feel that they're true.
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I'm sorry that I'd inflicted you with my melancholy.
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I'm sorry that all I can say is "I'm sorry."

And I'm sorry that I'm still thinking about it, even after you told me not to.

Coffee

The only time I drank a cup of coffee was for a project I don't even remember finishing, nor do I remember finishing that cup. And I would've probably needed one tonight, if you weren't so capable of keeping me up and giving me palpitations, much like the way coffee does.

Tong-its

May gusto ka bang sabihin
Ba't 'di mapakali
Ni hindi makatingin
Sana'y 'wag mo na itong palipasin

Sana'y ang situasyon natin ay katulad ng nais ipabatid ng mga katagang ito, pero sana'y hindi na umabot sa mga susunod na linya ng kanta, sapagkat minsan naiisip ko na hindi talaga ako nararapat para sa'yo. :)))

I don't know what to say either

It's so difficult to break the silence
Amid the impenetrable loquacity
That you share in the company of others.
And I cannot fathom the reason why,
Though I so desire to get a glimpse of your soul,
My knees go weak at the thought of approaching you.
And no matter how shallow they may be to you,
I relish every little tête-à-tête we have,
For only in them could I voice out,
Or perhaps type out, my thoughts to you.
So please don't lose what little interest you might have in me,
Maybe someday I can do better.

Awkward

I searched for the words I'd hoped to impart
Lest the two of us grow farther apart.
Yet I never deemed myself as worthy
Of your time as other people could be.

For your laughter is an aphrodisiac;
Thoughts of you make me an insomniac;
Seeing you makes all my courage falter;
And your entirety makes my heart flutter.

As I write now of triumph and regret,
Sentiments I probably won't forget,
I wish I'd spoken to you a bit more,
'Cause you are the only one I yearn for.

Yer So Special

Oh I'll never be lonely again
Just as long as you stand by me now
And everyday I'll spend my time
Finding out why you're so special

Damn song sounds so old yet expresses exactly what I feel. =)))

Song of the unsung for the sake of the forsaken

To the one who asked me, for so long,
To listen to the same old sad song
How could it be that you've never known
That I was also humming my own?

To the one who kept me in the light
Of all things that happen left to right
Why am I, to whom you've made a mark,
Feeling like a shadow in the dark?

To the one I've tried to escape from,
the one I think of on my lonesome,
I've grown tired of hearing of your chase,
for was I ever part of the race?

To the one whom I had fallen for,
whose warmth I'm attempting to ignore
I wonder what it is you will do,
on knowing I've always sung for you?

I made this poem some time ago for a friend going through love troubles of her own. I'm just posting it now 'cause I've thought of a witty-as-fuck title for it. =))))

Huh, this is probably the first time I've used an emoticon in a blog post (not counting the labels). Feels weird, but it's probably because this is also the first time I'm not posting about my troubles. :))

"Abot Kamay"

Nakaw tingin
Sumasabay sa hangin
Sabihin mo sa akin
Anong kailangan kong gawin?
Upang malapitan
Mamasdan, at mahawakan
Taglay mong kagandahan

Never could a song's lyrics be so perfectly fitting yet its melody be so out of place. Or maybe I'm the only one who thinks of it as a sad song?

Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem

Though our times together may have been finite,
The moments I cherish form an uncountable set.
And as the countdown approached zero,
I wished that my limits did not exist.

I once thought me to be an immovable object,
Only to be gravitated by your unstoppable force.

Love is the bane of a logical mind,
And logic that of a loving heart.
From this I have found my proof
That my love for you is not an axiomatic system
For it is both consistent and complete.

Opportunities

It's becoming increasingly difficult to create them. I'd already realized that waiting for such chances would lead nowhere, but it sure seems that I'm walking down a road paved only with good intentions. But I'll keep walking. Hell or glory, I don't want anything in between.

The fated day is fast approaching... I'd need to think of something fast.

x^2 + y^2 = r^2

I feel sad that I've made you feel sad that you've made me feel sad. We've come full circle.

Hopefully next time we could be stuck not in a circle of sorrow, but in a spiral of bliss.

Logic

Or is it paranoia? I feel like I'm being watched by a certain Mobile Safari. Maybe it was that poem I shared with her. Did I make her sad? Was it something I said? Or something I never did?

If that Mobile Safari is really who I suspect, or perhaps fear it to be, what then?

What am I fighting for?

FeBERuary is a Ber month alright. It just started and it's already too damn cold in here. I am too dazed by what I've just been subjected to so I can't think of any way to translate what I feel to poetry right now, so I must have made a lame ass joke just now, right?

Said “I'm ok”, but I know how to lie 
I will never give up, no I'll never give up 
What am I fighting for? 
There must be something more 
For all these words I sing 
Do you feel anything? 

Do you not realize that you just almost broke my already battered heart?